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- You can tell it's going to be a rotten day when...
- you wake up face down on the pavement
- you put your bra on backwards and it fits better
- you call suicide prevention and they put you on hold
- you see a '60 minutes' news team waiting in your office
- you want to put on the clothes you wore home from the party and they aren't there
- you turn on the news and they're showing emergency routes out of the city
- you wake up to discover your waterbed has broken, then
- remember you don't have a waterbed
- your car horn goes of accidentally and remains stuck as you follow a group of Hell's Angels down the motorway
- your wife wakes up feeling amorous and you have a headache
- your boss tells you not to bother taking off your coat
- you wake up and your braces are locked together
- you call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your business
- your blind date turns out to be your ex wife
- your income tax cheque bounces
- you put both contact lenses in the same eye
- your pet rock snaps at you
- your wife says, "Good morning, Bill" and your name is George
- -- Author unknown...but troubled